MYN: Former staffer teams up with father to write his memoir
by Kathryn Pelka, junior, Edina High School

Published Mar 27, 2002 in the Minneapolis Star Tribune

Sal DiLeo was in the third grade when he promised himself that if he ever had children, they would never feel pain or be alone.

Forty years later DiLeo, 48, a marketing consultant in Minneapolis, recalls that promise in his self-published autobiography, "Did I Ever Thank You, Sister?" After his father deserted Sal and his 11 siblings, the family broke up because his mother, who was mentally ill, could not take care of them. His eight older siblings struck off on their own; the four youngest, including DiLeo, were put into the Guardian Angel Home in Joliet, Ill.

That little boy's pain resurfaced three years ago when DiLeo sat down and unloaded, in just six days, a book chronicling his early life.

With the writing done, DiLeo's older daughter, Jane, a sophomore journalism major at the University of Missouri- olumbia, gave the book a first, rough edit. She took the book to Mexico during spring break, editing while lying on the beach.

"It made me cry; it made me laugh," said Jane, a former Minnesota Youth News staff writer. "It helped me understand more of my father. You think you know your parents, and then you realize you don't."

Jane, while aware of her father's difficult past, never knew about his decline in his late 20s, including drug abuse. Giving Jane the book was what DiLeo called a "witness test. Jane encouraged me the whole time to keep going," he said.

He also received encouragement from his wife, Beth. "I just remember him sitting there by the computer, way into the wee hours of the morning," said Beth. She knew all about his life, and while it wasn't always easy to be supportive, "I knew it was healthy to write about his unusual life," she said. "I mean, he survived it, and got to remember all the good things that happened along the way."

DiLeo revisited his life primarily through the people he knew and the relationships he formed. DiLeo has stayed in contact with many people through Christmas cards. In recent years, while on business trips to Illinois, he visited with nuns at the Guardian Angel Home who had a profound influence on his life.

"When I first went there, I was a very angry little boy, always fighting, and I had a foul mouth," DiLeo says of his 8-year-old self. "These nuns provided the love and discipline that made all the difference."

"Sal periodically stops by in Chicago and visits his friends. Luckily, I'm one of them," said Sister Rose Spatney, a cottage supervisor for DiLeo at the Guardian Angel orphanage. She remembers him as an outgoing and friendly boy, although mischievous at times. "He still talks a lot. But now it's about his family. He really does seem to be a family man now," Spatney said.

DiLeo has sent his book to all the major people in it. "They were so good to me. I want them to know how much I appreciate them," he says.

While DiLeo finds himself dwelling on the positive memories of his early life, he also is reminded of the harder times, such as when the orphans had to leave the cocoon of the institution to attend school in town for the first time, or almost being sexually assaulted by another boy at Boys Town, a long-term care facility for homeless boys, where DiLeo was placed after eighth grade.

"Each chapter brings out a new emotion," said DiLeo, who remembers in particular the day his father left, and his high school graduation.

DiLeo says he wrote this book, first, for his children Jane and Kate, so they will come to better know the person he is and what factors shaped his life. Then for his wife, so that she "knows that I realize how fortunate I am to have her." Finally, he wrote "Sister" for himself. It was healing to write it all down, he said. "It brought forth a feeling of gratitude, not anger. It's really a growing process," DiLeo said.

"I've gotten so many wonderful letters from people who have read it," said DiLeo, who hopes it will help people get past life's obstacles, while recognizing those who have helped along the way. "It is possible to come from nothing," DiLeo says.

Autographed and numbered copies of the book, in manuscript form, can be purchased for $25 online at DiLeo's Web site, http://www.salsbook.com. The Web site also contains Chapter Two of the book. Or you may call DiLeo at 612-207-1109.

—-Kathryn Pelka is one of 13 high school students in the Twin Cities selected for the 2001-2002 Minnesota Youth News team. MYN articles will appear in the Variety section throughout the year.

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