Helping out: Lakeshore retreat is his thanks to nuns of his childhood
by Karen Gail Jostad, Star Tribune

Published March 8, 2003, in the Minneapolis Star Tribune

"A dirty little boy with a shaved head is staring straight up into the face of an old nun. She has her hand on his face to make sure he can't turn away while he is being scolded. . ."
-- From "Did I Ever Thank You, Sister?" by Sal Di Leo

It wasn't the first time that 9-year-old Sal Di Leo had been in trouble at Guardian Angel Home in Joliet, Ill.

After his father left the family in 1963, Sal and three of his siblings were sent to the orphanage because their mother was too ill and poor to care for them. The home was run by the Sisters of St. Francis of Mary Immaculate.

" 'Your sisters and brother seem to get along with everyone and are perfect role models for the other children,' the nun continued. 'You, however, are entirely the opposite. . .' "

The pain of poverty, a broken home and lost childhood were to trouble Sal Di Leo for years. He got into marijuana and alcohol after graduating from college. In his 30s he got hooked on cocaine. (He kicked the habit at age 35.) Di Leo says he was his own worst enemy.

Although he had an enviable lifestyle by the world's standards, the self-made millionaire was miserable. He eventually lost it all.

"I began to self-destruct because I didn't have my priorities straight," said Di Leo, 49, of Minneapolis, now a vice president at Egan Business Interiors in Plymouth. "I had those things that I thought were really important, but there was still something missing. At the peak of my success, I got into drugs. I had no spirituality at all. I was kind of using everything and everybody."

Two decades passed before Di Leo began to stabilize. He gives much of the credit to the nuns of his childhood and his wife, Elizabeth Kirby. Today Di Leo attends mass before work and raises money for the volunteer Fire Department and town park in Lake George, Minn., where he and his wife are building a summer home. Last year he began construction on St. Francis Lodge, a retreat on their lakeshore property for Catholic nuns and women exploring Catholic religious life.

The project is being paid for by the Di Leo family and profits from the sale of Sal Di Leo's autobiography, "Did I Ever Thank You, Sister?" which he self-published in 1999.

David Engleson, an architect with the Cuningham Group, is providing services pro bono. Lake George contractor Ken Lathrop also is helping. About $787,000 is needed to complete the project. Di Leo is contacting people whose faith "may interest them in helping us," he said.

A reconnect

Di Leo said it took him years to repair the "holes" he dug in his 20s and 30s. Helpful conversations he's had with the nuns at Guardian Angel remain foremost in his mind. It was Sister Paul Korman, Mother Superior there when Di Leo was an adolescent, who helped him reconnect with the church in his late 30s.

Di Leo painted a rosy picture of his life over the telephone, but the nun could hear what he wasn't saying.

"Sister Paul knew I was missing something," Di Leo said. "She could tell I was very troubled. It was the first time someone reminded me that I needed to connect with God again. She reminded me to get back to church because I had stopped going." He took her advice.

Di Leo's life didn't change overnight. "It took time for me to develop good relationships, personal and business, where people would trust me," he said.

During the ups and downs, Di Leo remembered a conversation he had had with Sister Nepomucene (now Sister Rose) when he was 11. She was cottage supervisor at Guardian Angel, responsible for the boys when they weren't in school.

Di Leo's older brother, Mario, had left Guardian Angel for Boys Town, the Nebraska facility Hollywood made famous in the 1930s. The younger Di Leo was devastated, and Sister Nepomucene tried to console him.

"She said, 'Sal, just remember, most everybody in life is dealt a bad hand in some form or fashion, but those who do well do the best with what they're given. I know you will do well.' "

"It was like the first 'half-empty, half-full' concept anybody had given me," Di Leo said. "It had some impact on what I was doing and where I was going. That somebody believed in me, it meant a lot."

Di Leo said the conversation was important because it was the first time he realized he had "choices and could make a difference." He said his marriage to Kirby in 1981 also was a turning point.

"There were many times when she should have left me and didn't," he said. "I had this one human being who would not give up on me."

In 1989, Di Leo started a small import business in Minneapolis and became acquainted with former Vikings coach Bud Grant.

He became a spokesman for Di Leo's business and a mentor and friend.

"I think he had a place in his heart for people trying to make it," said Di Leo.

It was Grant who suggested that Di Leo contact those who had influenced his life for good over the years.

In 1998, Di Leo returned to Guardian Angel. He located Sisters Paul and Rose in Our Lady of Angels Retirement home nearby. Thoughts of sharing his life story to help others came to mind; also ways he could thank the nuns who helped him. A year later he published "Did I Ever Thank You, Sister?" with the idea of using the proceeds from the book to build the retreat.

Sister Rose, now 83, said Di Leo's charm and leadership qualities were always evident.

"You couldn't help but like him, no matter what he did," she said. She is helping to publicize St. Francis Lodge by word of mouth.

Although Sisters Rose and Paul aren't likely to visit Minnesota any time soon -- Sister Paul is nearly 90 and ill -- they are proud of how Di Leo has turned out.

"I admire his persistency," Sister Rose said. "And I admire his vision and generosity."

-- Karen Gail Jostad is at kjostad@startribune.com.

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